When the Outcome Isn’t What We’d Hoped
Have you ever prayed with all your heart—only to feel discouraged when the outcome wasn’t what you hoped for?
If we’re honest, most of us have been there. We love God. We believe in prayer. And yet there are moments when heaven feels silent, timelines stretch long, and hope feels fragile.
That’s why my recent conversation on the Significant Women Podcast with Heather O’Brien felt so timely and so tender. Together, we talked openly about unmet expectations in prayer, learning to pray with hope, and how prayer is less about controlling outcomes and more about connection with our Father.
When Our Expectations Shape Our Experience
Heather shared something that resonated deeply with me: much of the discouragement we feel in prayer comes from placing expectations—or timelines—on God.
She explained that disappointment often reveals more about our standards than God’s faithfulness. God may be working, answering, and shaping us in ways we can’t yet see. Prayer isn’t a magic trick—it’s a journey.
What God is often after is not just the answer we want, but the transformation He wants to do within us along the way.
Discouragement vs. Long-Suffering
One of the most powerful moments of our conversation was when Heather reframed disappointment through the lens of Scripture.
The Bible speaks of long-suffering as a fruit of the Spirit. Disappointment, she explained, is often the distorted, worldly version of that fruit. While discouragement focuses on unmet expectations, long-suffering is filled with hope, endurance, and trust in God’s character.
When we pray from a place of disappointment, we often pray from pain and frustration. But when we pray from hope—even in the waiting—we pray from faith.
Praying with Hope, Not Hopelessness
Hope gives prayer substance.
Heather challenged us to examine how we pray, not just what we pray. Are our prayers rooted in despair, fear, or exhaustion? Or are they anchored in the belief that God is good, attentive, and at work—even when we can’t see it?
God invites us to bring our sadness, our loneliness, and our weariness to Him. But He also invites us to let Him renew our hope.
Sometimes prayer begins with repentance—not for sin alone, but for believing the wrong things about God.
Prayer Changes the One Who Prays
One truth I’ve learned over decades of walking with Jesus is this: prayer changes us.
It may change our desires. It may soften our hearts. It may adjust our expectations. Prayer often does its deepest work not in the circumstances we’re praying about, but in the soul of the one who is praying.
Heather and I both agreed—prayer is not meant to be a one-sided conversation. God longs to speak to us. He wants us to listen, linger, and rest in His presence.
Sometimes the most powerful prayer we can pray is a simple one:
“Speak, Lord. Your servant is listening.”
Learning to Pray Simply
For those who feel unsure where to start, Heather shared a beautiful and practical prayer framework she uses—even with children. It’s built around the word PRAISE:
Praise – Thank God for who He is and what He has done
Repent – Invite God to search your heart and forgive
Ask – Bring your needs honestly before Him
Intercede – Pray for others
Shhh & Expect – Quiet your heart and listen for His voice
There is no “wrong way” to pray. God isn’t grading your prayers—He’s inviting your presence.
Prayer Is Presence, Not Performance
At its core, prayer is connection.
To pray without ceasing doesn’t mean talking nonstop—it means living with the awareness that God is always near. He is available for guidance, comfort, correction, and companionship throughout every moment of the day.
Prayer is how we stay tethered to His presence.
An Invitation for You
If prayer has felt disappointing, dry, or confusing, I want you to hear this clearly: God has not left you. He is closer than you think.
Don’t give up on prayer—pray differently.
Come to Him with hope. Sit with Him in silence. Open His Word. Invite the Holy Spirit to guide your prayers. And trust that even when answers feel delayed, God is doing a deep and beautiful work within you.
Prayer isn’t just how we get answers.
Prayer is how we stay close to the heart of our Father.
This conversation with Heather O’Brien is available now on the Significant Women Podcast. I pray it encourages you to pray with fresh hope and renewed faith.
In today’s heartfelt conversation, Carol McLeod and Heather O’Brien unpack the real and sometimes difficult journey of prayer. Together, they explore disappointment, long suffering, and the deep work God does in us as we keep showing up in faith. Through honest stories and biblical insight, they highlight the power of thanksgiving, the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and practical encouragement for new believers. This episode invites you to connect with God in a deeper, more authentic way, trusting that prayer can transform your life even in seasons of struggle.