The Power of Togetherness on our Journey of Caretaking
A Note from Carol: One of the greatest joys of my ministry is sharing voices that stir the soul and point us back to the heart of God. Today, I’m honored to introduce you to Carole Leathem—speaker, author of Are You Ready to Find Joy when Life Get’s Messy?, and a woman whose story radiates hope and authenticity. With raw honesty and contagious faith, Carole shares her journey of navigating mental illness in her family, discovering God’s presence in unexpected places, and learning to embrace joy even in life’s messiest seasons. Her testimony reminds us that we serve a God who meets us in the middle of our struggles and transforms them into opportunities for deeper trust and abiding joy.
Caring for our loved ones, whether a parent, spouse, child, or friend, is one of the most selfless acts we do. It requires strength, compassion, patience, and a deep well of emotional and physical energy.
Caretaking is sacred work, but it’s also lonely work. The hours are long, the sacrifices are many, and the personal cost can be great. For these reasons and more, we need community, not as a luxury, but as a lifeline.
As caretakers we have a deep need for community. Here are a few of the practical reasons why we as caretakers need to build a support systems that sustains us in every season of our journey.
1. The Sacred Weight of Caretaking
Every caretaker knows the weight that comes with watching someone you love struggle, decline, or suffer. Whether it’s walking with a parent through dementia, helping a child with special needs, or supporting a spouse with a chronic illness, the toll is both emotional and physical.
Caretakers often give up jobs, social lives, vacations, and even their own health appointments to be fully present for someone else.
It’s noble and holy work, but it’s not meant to be done alone. Scripture reminds us that we are called to carry one another’s burdens. This isn’t just a suggestion or a kind thought. It’s a command, a fulfillment of the law of Christ Himself. God never intended for one person to carry the weight of caretaking alone. When the work becomes overwhelming, when the tears fall in the bathroom at 2 a.m., when you’re pouring a bowl of cereal after a sleepless night, it’s community that brings comfort, companionship, and strength.
2. The Danger of Isolation
Isolation is one of the greatest threats to a caretaker’s well-being. It’s all too easy to become cut off from relationships, especially when your day revolves around medications, appointments, and endless to-do lists. Slowly, phone calls stop and invitations disappear. You find yourself saying no to every opportunity to socialize simply because you’re too exhausted, or too sad to go.
This isolation can lead to Caretaker’s Burnout, some of the symptoms are:
Emotional and Physical exhaustion
Depression or anxiety
Spiritual dryness
Health problems
Without community, caretakers become like a well that’s been dipped into again and again without being refilled. Eventually, the well runs dry, but the love you offer your person deserves to come from a source that is replenished, not depleted.
That’s where community steps in, not to take over the work, but to help lift your arms when you can’t lift them yourself.
3. Biblical Community: Our Blueprint for Support
Throughout the Bible, we see examples of how God uses community to strengthen, equip, and uplift His people. Consider:
Moses had Aaron and Hur to hold up his arms during battle (Exodus 17:12).
Ruth had Naomi to guide her in a foreign land.
Paul had Barnabas and Timothy to encourage him in ministry.
Jesus Himself had the twelve disciples and often withdrew with them for rest and prayer.
Caretaking is no different. You need people who will hold up your arms when they get tired. People who will speak life when you feel like you’re failing. People who will remind you that you’re not invisible, that your work matters, and that you matter.
God’s design has always been togetherness. It is in community where burdens are shared, prayers are multiplied, and miracles are witnessed.
4. What Community Looks Like for us as Caretakers
Community doesn’t always mean a large group. Sometimes it’s a few close friends, a faith-based support group, a church family, or an online network of others walking a similar path. Here are ways we as a community can uplift each other up as caretakers:
Be A Listening Ear
Sometimes we just need to be heard. Someone who won’t fix, advise, or compare, but, just listen. Caretaker support groups, trusted friends, or pastoral counselors can offer this sacred space.
Practical Help
Community can bring meals, do laundry, run errands, or offer respite care. One afternoon off can feel like a week’s vacation to a weary heart.
Spiritual Companionship
Having someone pray with you, send you scriptures, or sit in silence with you can help refill your spiritual tank. Many churches offer caretaker ministries or prayer teams.
Encouragement
Words of affirmation, thank-you notes, or a simple “You’re doing amazing” can breathe new life into a discouraged caretaker. Never underestimate the power of encouragement.
Connection to Resources
Community often knows things you don’t, local services, government support, grants, or care options you hadn’t considered. Your burden lightens when you aren’t trying to figure everything out alone.
5. Caretaking and the Body of Christ
The Church has a sacred calling to care for its caretakers. Just as Jesus modeled compassion and sacrificial love, so too must the Body of Christ wrap around those who pour themselves out daily.
For the caretaker reading this: you were not created to do this alone. The enemy wants to isolate you, to convince you that no one sees or understands. But God sees. And God sends.
He sends people, communities, churches, and strangers to help you walk this road. Accepting help isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. And receiving love doesn’t diminish the strength you offer; it multiplies it.
6. How to Find or Build Your Community
If you’re feeling alone, know that it’s not too late to find the community you need. Start small, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
1. Pray for Connections
Ask God to bring the right people into your life, those who understand, support, and uplift you. He is faithful to provide.
2. Join Support Groups
Look for local or online support groups for caregivers. Faith-based groups can offer spiritual encouragement alongside practical tips.
3. Talk to Your Church
Let your pastor or ministry team know about your caretaking role. Many churches want to help but don’t know your needs unless you share them.
4. Start with One Person
You don’t need a crowd. One consistent friend who checks in weekly can change your world.
5. Accept Help
Don’t apologize for needing help. Let others serve you—just as you serve so faithfully every day.
7. You Are Worth Supporting
One of the lies caretakers often believe is that their needs are less important than the needs of the person they’re caring for. But that’s simply not true. You cannot pour from an empty cup. And God, in His love and grace, wants you to be filled.
You are not forgotten. You are not alone. You are not weak for needing others.
Community is not an interruption to caretaking, it’s the fuel that helps it thrive.
Final Encouragement
To the weary caretaker reading this:
You are seen. You are loved. Your sacrifices echo into eternity. And while it may feel like you’re holding up the world for someone else, God is holding you.
He sees the midnight prayers, the silent tears, the heroic love you show day after day. And He longs to send people to stand with you—if only you will let them.
You don’t have to do this alone. You were never meant to.
Let community become the arms of Christ wrapping around you. Let it restore what exhaustion has drained. Let it be the answer to your whispered prayers for strength.
Are You Ready to Find Joy in Your Messy Life?: How I'm Surviving My Husband's Struggles with Anxiety, Depression, and Suicidal Thoughts
When Carole Leathem’s husband, Bill, first began his battle with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, she had no idea years of rejection and identity issues would come to a head. After all, when you’re the wife of a senior pastor, there are certain expectations that come with it. Imperfection and mental illness are not among them. Managing depression in marriage and setting relationship boundaries brought pain, uncertainty, and rejection, which were nearly unbearable. Whenever Carole surrendered to God, he showed up time and time again.
As Carole searched for practical help, she shares, “My husband’s mental health was the most important issue. I read every Mental Health book for adults, Depression books for adults, relationship books for women, especially, any marketed as religion books, I could find.” She discovered very few books addressing depression and anxiety in men. She found the words anxiety; Christian were two words mental health books or anxiety and depression books failed to address.
In this inspiring episode, Carole Leathem shares her journey through marriage struggles, caregiving, and life’s unexpected challenges. With deep faith and vulnerability, she reflects on how God met her in the hard places and how she learned to “count it all joy” in the midst of trials (James 1:2). Carole honors the women who supported her along the way and reminds us that even in sorrow, joy is possible. Her story is a testament to the strength found in faith in Christ, resilience, and community.