When Your Heart Wonders

A Cup of Tea with Carol
Written By Carol McLeod

What moves you?  What fills your heart with the echoes of eternity? For me, it has always been words and melodies.  I remember as a little girl, hearing “The Christmas Song” sung on “The King Family Christmas Special” and it made my heart ache.  I was probably only 7 or 8 years old that December and it was the first time that the beauty of lyrics and melody made me long for more.  The voices of a 40-member family of 4 generations blended in deep and rich harmonies that made the tears roll down my little girl cheeks.  I knew in that moment that some things are so beautiful that they hurt.

About 20 years ago, I heard a song in a church cantata that moved me with the same type of deep and eternal beauty.  I remember that it was when I was in a daily battle with depression and most days my soul was a hollow vacuum of nothingness.  I went to church the Sunday before Christmas and was so content to sit near the back, even though my husband was the pastor.

The cantata was cheesy at best and most of the music was woefully off pitch and embarrassing.  The sheer inadequacy of the performance only added to my depression.  Then, the choir director, turned around and faced the audience.  I felt like she was looking right at me.  She lifted the microphone to her lips, opened her mouth, closed her eyes and sang in a rich contralto that echoed through the empty caverns of my heart.

“God is too wise to be mistaken

God is too good to be unkind

So when you don’t understand,

When you don’t see His plan,

When you can’t trace His hand,

Trust His heart.” - Babbie Mason

God spoke to me and I was never the same again.  He spoke through the lyrics and melody of a song written by one of His dear children.

These words have become more than lyrics to me ... they have become solid theology.  They have become a dynamic and powerful prayer.  They have become a reminder in the darkest moments of my life that I can trust a God Who is good and wise.

“God is too wise to be mistaken ...”

My soul rests in the assurance that God really is too wise to be mistaken.  God is never wrong ... not one time.  I never know better than He does ... never.  His wisdom never contradicts His Word ... and I rest there ... in that safe place of trusting an all-wise God.

God’s wisdom never changes because God never changes.  His mind and His heart toward His children thousands of years ago is still His mind and His heart toward His children today.  If the ache of your heart is to know the wisdom of God, then you must read and agree with His Word.

If you read His Word and then question it or doubt it, then you really don’t believe that God is too wise to be mistaken.  When my mind and my circumstances tempt me to question the wisdom of God, I am brought back to a place of trust by the lyrics of the life of David, the psalmist and the giant-killer,

“And those who know Your Name, will put their trust in You, for You, oh Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.” - Psalm 9:10

God’s wisdom is backed up by God’s power.  If He were only wise, with no power with which to move, than His wisdom would have a lesser effect upon our human lives.  But because not only is He the God of all wisdom, but also is He the God of supreme and eternal power, I know that His hand always moves with the wisdom of His Name.

“God is too good to be unkind ...”

When I read those words, I weep.  My heart melts within me at the goodness of the God Whom I love and serve.  There is no unkindness in God.  Everything that comes into my life is filtered through the wisdom, power and goodness of God.

Anything that God is, He is eternally.  God is eternally and infinitely good.  There is not one atom or cell of cruelty, unkindness or badness in God.  God has never had a bad thought about you or has ever been tempted to be mean to you.

He is infinitely and lavishly good.  He is powerfully loving and wisely kind.

“So when you don’t understand, when you can’t see His plan ...”

How many times has THAT happened in your life?!   You don’t understand what God is doing ... you can’t see His fingerprint in the dailyness of your day ... you don’t hear His voice or see the handwriting on the wall.   You scream out for understanding and He is silent.  You demand an explanation from heaven’s heart and get nothing.  You wonder whether He is in control or not ...

What do you do at that lonely moment?  Is there a place for your aching soul to land?

"When you can’t trace His hand ... trust His heart.”

This is what you do at that confusing, lonely moment when you wonder where He is ... you trust.  You trust His heart.  You trust His wisdom and His power.  You trust His goodness that is never unkind.  You trust that He is enough to carry you through.  You trust the same God whom David trusted.  You get on your face, open the Bible and trust.

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Carol McLeod
Carol says, “I am just a girl who is head over heels in love with Jesus ... passionately addicted to His Word ... and find all of the joy that I need in time spent in His presence." Carol is a Christmas-aholic, loves ACC basketball and the beach! Like all menopausal women, she is overly fond of chocolate and enjoys a good read. She doesn't like cleaning her house and is an expert in carry-out dinners. She hates to shop … loves to jog … and somehow finds time in her busy life to hang out with small children. She is the kind of woman that you could laugh with over lunch, cry with over disappointment and shout with over a victory! But … if you need her official bio … read on! Carol is an author and popular speaker at women's conferences and retreats, where she teaches the Word of God with great joy and enthusiasm. She also hosts highly successful Just Joy! outreaches. Carol encourages and empowers women with passionate and practical biblical messages mixed with her own special brand of hope and humor. Carol has written three books, "Holy Estrogen!", "The Rooms of a Woman's Heart" and "Defiant Joy!" which was released by a subsidiary of Thomas Nelson. Her teaching DVD, "The Rooms of a Woman's Heart", won the Telly Award, a prestigious industry award, for excellence in religious programming. Carol has also been featured on YouVersion (the smart phone Bible app) with several devotionals, including: "For the Journey Set Before Him", "Jolt of Joy", and "Joy to YOUR world", " Carol has a daily radio program, "Defiant Joy! Radio" which is available in several national markets including Youngsville PA, Warren PA, Buffalo NY, Roanoke VA, Norfolk VA, and Nashville TN.  A 1977 graduate of Oral Roberts University with a degree in Music and English, Carol has the distinction of being both the first Women's Chaplain and the first woman to speak at the university's Vespers.  Carol currently serves on the ORU Alumni Board as chaplain.  She is married to her college sweetheart and love of her life, Craig, who serves as senior pastor of Life Church, a church near Buffalo, NY.  Craig and Carol have been happily married for nearly 37 years and are the parents of five children and three delightful daughters-in-law. Craig and Carol are thrilled with the joy of being grandparents to five precious grandchildren! Carol has written three books, "Holy Estrogen!", "The Rooms of a Woman's Heart" and "Defiant Joy!" which was released by a subsidiary of Thomas Nelson. Her teaching DVD, "The Rooms of a Woman's Heart", won the Telly Award, a prestigious industry award, for excellence in religious programming. Carol has also been featured on YouVersion (the smart phone Bible app) with several devotionals, including: "For the Journey Set Before Him", "Jolt of Joy", and "Joy to YOUR world", " Carol has a daily radio program, "Defiant Joy! Radio" which is available in several national markets including Youngsville PA, Warren PA, Buffalo NY, Roanoke VA, Norfolk VA, and Nashville TN.  A 1977 graduate of Oral Roberts University with a degree in Music and English, Carol has the distinction of being both the first Women's Chaplain and the first woman to speak at the university's Vespers.  Carol currently serves on the ORU Alumni Board as chaplain.  She is married to her college sweetheart and love of her life, Craig, who serves as senior pastor of Life Church, a church near Buffalo, NY.  Craig and Carol have been happily married for nearly 37 years and are the parents of five children and three delightful daughters-in-law. Craig and Carol are thrilled with the joy of being grandparents to five precious grandchildren!
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